Small Town, USA

When I told some of my friends and family from ‘back home,’ as in Grand Rapids, that I would be moving back down to Indiana in August, they were thinking the same thing I was. Location was not first choice. Don’t get me wrong, I would give anything to work at this elementary school, and I was thrilled to be able to be with those same people who I student taught with, but small town Indiana was just the place I was so excited to get out of in May.

You see, Indiana is nothing like Grand Rapids; nothing. There is no beach, the culture is way different, and let’s just say I learned quickly how Amish do what they do and what a combine was during my freshman year. Different. After college, I never in a million years would have guessed I would be back down here, but isn’t that always how it goes? Suddenly this fall, I have at least 100 reason why (yes, I am actually saying this…) I enjoy Huntington County/Allen County and this good old small town Indiana life.

I guess it was about two and a half weeks ago that I realized it. Teaching was going great, and seeing my best friends on a weekly basis was not half bad, either. But, it still wasn’t Michigan. My drive to school in the mornings still consisted of passing by cornfields and passing slow moving tractors when I had to go down the country road because a train was passing by on the main road. Great for college life, but for post college life? Nah…I always thought I would be somewhere else. But on that morning, the air was crisp, it was a Friday, and I was bringing apples to my class to celebrate Roanoke’s (population SMALL) Fall Festival that weekend. For the first time, at least in a while, I really embraced this Indiana culture. To my right and left there were harvested cornfields, and flat as they may be, they were beautiful. Behind me was the most beautiful sunrise I could imagine; the kind that truly made you excited to be alive. And ahead of me was the precious little town of Roanoke where everyone knows everyone and the upcoming tractor pull was the biggest current event of the month. Right as it hit me that I actually may be enjoying this scenery, this song came on (it’s weird how that happens, huh?). It came on as I was flipping stations, and honestly, I began listening to it because I like to make fun of my friend, Lindsay, who has grown up a farm girl her whole life. Here are some of the verses:

Mailbox at the end of a dirt road
Hiding a sign on the Side of a silo
Old dog on a grain truck flat bed
Power lines cut across the sunset
Running from the highway to the house

Ain't nothing but cornfields
Stretching out as far as you can see
Up ahead behind and in between

Ain't nothing but cornfields
the turn road where I first tasted whiskey
Is the same place Mary more than kissed me

Ain't nothing but cornfields
Stretching out as far as you can see
Up ahead behind and in between

Ain't nothing but a half-ton town
Dusty main street and a flashing light
Anybody who's just passing by

Ain't nothing but cornfields

I used to sit out on the road side
Dreaming and thinking
Watch the headlights fly by
Without even blinking
And stare off at the sunset and think about leaving
but I never did
No, I never did
Yeah, this is who I am

As the song ended I realized that cornfields and small town life is not who I am deep down, but it is a part of College Erica, and Fall/Winter 2011 Erica, and since that moment, there is no other place I would rather be than in Small Town, USA.

Sweet, Sweet Life

Life the past week has obviously been crazy with the new job! However, I have fully enjoyed my time back in Indiana so far! I am mentally exhausted from everything, but wanted to put out some sort of update. Here are a few random and interesting facts that have hit me recently and has continued to remind me how sweet life is!

1. 1. Last night was two of my very good friends’ wedding day. Of course this meant a wonderful reception with about 60 of my closest friends dancing the whole night away. Needless to say, we had an amazing night. Before the night even began, a bunch of us went to Dunkin’ Donuts before the reception started. Did you know that you can get 5 donut holes for $1? And, you can mix and match flavors? Awesome, right?

2. 2. My new apartment is just great. Every day I look out the huge slider door in the living room and I see a Blue Heron.

3. 3. I have the best friends in the world. No, seriously, I do. They always make me laugh, and we have so many amazing memories that will keep us laughing for hours. And the best thing is that every time we see each other we make new memories so the list just keeps on building! I don’t want to know how boring my life would be without these girls and guys.

4. 4. True Fact: At every dance I have ever attended, prom, homecoming, and wedding receptions, I always somehow get a bloody toe/foot. Before the reception last night I actually wondered to myself if the same would happen at Christen and Spencer’s reception. Well, during Cupid Shuffle Danielle stepped on my toe and there the blood came! I would blame this bad luck on myself, but Danielle also stepped on Emily’s foot too, so it can’t be me. J

5. 5. My fifth graders are just great. They consistently make me laugh!

6. 6. I am currently obsessed with the song “No Diggity.” Hahah. It is ridiculous and I am pretty sure the song came out when I was in ninth grade or something, but I love it!

7. 7. Tomorrow is the first day of classes at Huntington University. This is the first year in four years that I will not be attending the “Stance” on campus tonight. My friends and I were talking about how this is kind of sad that it is all over and we are now watching others take our spot. But, we all thought it was pretty great that on the weekend where we would usually all be getting ready for classes to begin, we were still together enjoying a wonderful weekend together as adults.

8. 8. It hit me last night that I find so much joy out of seeing my friends’ parents. I think I am actually old enough to start to appreciate these adults in my life who have been there now for years watching me grow, just as they have their own children, my best friends. It was refreshing and felt like home last night when I saw Mark’s parents, Chels and Christen’s parents, Courtney’s parents, and so on. It was great to be able to laugh with them too, those people who in my years down in Indiana have been there for all of us in some way. And it was great to look at all of them and remember just how many times Mark’s mom made us all wonderful meals and had the best Super Bowl parties and see Courtney’s dad and hear him make some ridiculous joke again.

9. 9. I love oatmeal. I really do. I eat it every day at least once. I put a lot of extra stuff in it such as: cranberries, chocolate chips, blueberries, yogurt, granola, honey, and so on. Not all at once of course, but I consider oatmeal my thing…you can even ask my friends and previous roommates. Make it yourself with those ingredients in it. You can thank me later.

10. 10. Since I just brought up oatmeal, I will tell you that my mom makes the best homemade granola in the entire world. She made it all the time for me and my friends in college. They have all been telling me how much they miss my mom’s granola so when my parents come down for Labor Day weekend they are bringing some for us all!

11. 11. I think I found the key to keeping up your metabolism: dancing. You may not believe this, but it is true: I love eating and drinking pop (which has a lot of calories). I was told that in your early twenties your metabolism slows down. Here is the thing though; I promise you that if you turn on your music for at least a half hour a day and just dance, you will start to feel a difference. And, I mean dancing is fun and music is great, so you don’t even feel like you are working out. I have been dancing every day for the past five years and I think it’s the greatest thing ever.

12. 12. You should read the book, The Help. It is wonderful. I am seeing the movie this week and I cannot wait!

13. 13. Just booked my plane ticket to Florida for Christmas! I cannot wait to see and spend time with all of my southern friends!

14. 14. I seriously love all of the people I work with. They are so fun and a joy to be around!

15. 15. I got a new job, a new car and a new apartment all within three days. I feel like I signed my life away during that time!

A New Era

So here I sit in my hotel room in Huntington. Weird, huh? It’s sort of crazy to me because for four years this town has been home, and there is something sweet and yet sad about turning off of Highway 24 into town. Sweet because every corner and street holds a memory that can only be made during your college days. Sweet because yesterday once I got into Huntington I couldn’t wait to drive back to Johnson’s Junction to get an 89 cent cherry coke and as I was pulling out in my new car, I ran into Kevin Keske and we kept staring at each other until we realized who we each were. Sweet because I got to spend quality hours last night with amazing friends I have known now for years at the good old Oak Street house.

Sad because as I passed the campus, I realized on Sunday I wouldn’t be attending the annual beginning of the tennis season pizza party. Sad because this would be the first year in four years that I won’t be counting down how many more chapels I need or have to eat the food at the DC. Sad because I will no longer have to worry about getting a parking ticket from Barry when I leave my car parked out in the culd-a-sac in the middle of the night. Sad because right now from my hotel window I have the view of the Huntington North High School football field and can see the team practicing and can hear the band playing and it brings back so many memories from what seems so long ago yet just yesterday. And this year…it’s time for someone else to live out those days.

I guess after graduation I flew right off to Florida and didn’t really even think about anything else. Now that I am back seeing what used to be my life, I feel that pang of growing up. I am so excited about the next phase, but for the first time in forever I am no longer the student who can stay up until 3 am. I never really thought about the fact that it really is all over.

But here is the thing: real life has begun. Real 22 year old life. You know the kind; sticking to a strict budget, finding free entertainment with your friends who, just like you, are just starting out. And although the glory days of college is over, there is something to be said about living off of cheap macaroni and bad coffee. Something thrilling that after all you invested in college you are finally able to be set free in this crazy world.

So that is where I am tonight, somewhere starting out in this crazy world as a 22 year old who believes the world is really at my feet…it just may be more expensive than what I thought it would be.

Remember all of my waiting I wrote about last? Well, although it was not a full time job offer like my mind had planned out, I do believe it is where I am supposed to be. I got the call to be a long-term substitute for the class I student taught in during the spring because my teacher is going to pick up her baby in Ethiopia! I am so excited to be back at Roanoke Elementary and to be able to have a classroom of my own for three months. I had to book it down here Wednesday (yesterday) to start teaching today! It has been one heck of a crazy ride this week…stressful for sure, but hey, I have been waiting for a job so I am not going to complain.

Tonight after my first day of teaching after the rush of moving quickly back down to Indiana and realizing my summer is done, I got a call from some great friends that they were barbequing chicken in their backyard. Umm…of course I would love to come! Let me tell you, there is nothing better than eating barbeque chicken and grilled corn on the cob with six great friends talking about all of the weird men we have known who have blessed us with wonderful stories to share with each other in the Indiana heat after you have had your first day in your big girl job.

So here is to my early twenties and to being in the real world…for real. New car, new living, new job. Here are to the endless weddings coming up, car payments, and learning how to cook actual meals. Here is to nights like tonight where instead of studying for finals we are talking about our new jobs and begging someone to just help them paint their bedroom a new color. A new era.

Bring it on.

Waiting.

In today’s day in age, people wait for nothing. I am the worst at this. I like to be on the move and know the next step or plan. I am spontaneous for sure with the little things, but with my actual life? Some sort of layout would be great. That’s not how life works, and I am glad. How boring it would be if we knew every next thing that was going to happen, and the practice of having faith would not have to exist.

When I got back this July, I knew it was time to devote myself to finding a full-time job in the area where for the past few months I have felt such a strong calling. I knew it was going to be difficult, and nearly impossible, but I kept feeling like I needed to try and just have faith. Okay, no problem; or so I thought.

My first couple of weeks back I began making some hard decisions. Suddenly I recalled back to the days when the hardest decision I had to make was deciding when to take History of the Western Civilization or where to spend my Friday nights. Now, as if out of nowhere, I needed to decide how to actually spend my real adult life. Those first few weeks home I turned down two jobs. I know many people will gasp at that statement, but it’s just the truth, and if you too believe that we are called to be in certain professions than you will understand why I had to say no. But it was not easy. In fact, I always thought it would be awesome to have to tell a future employer that you were not accepting, but it actually is one of the most stressful things I have ever had to do. When the offer came along, it seemed too good to be true, and I was wooed into all of the ‘stuff.’ Sure, I could potentially love it, but something inside of me kept telling me that it wasn’t the right one yet. I would share the opportunity with those closest to me in Florida and we would research it together. The appearance of the job seemed charming, and when you just come out of college and realize everything you own is actually your parents, a job offer like that is too good to resist. Yet, why was I having such doubts?

When I came home and had more time to think logically about it, I still could find no real reason why I should say no. I began praying hard about it. I wanted want God wanted, but I was deep down hoping He wanted me there. I mean, hello, God, check out the salary and all of the stuff they are including! Don’t you want that for me? This was one of the first times in my life when I really needed an answer and did not know what to do.

One morning I was talking to my mom about it when she told me that I just need to have patience to wait for the right opportunity. I was almost mad that she even suggested that. Wait? Really, mom? How do you expect me to wait for some ‘opportunity’ that may never come along when as of now I have no job and no promise of getting anything close to this again? She told me to enjoy this time of waiting. My response was that I would be able to enjoy if I knew come September I would be employed. Hah. If only it worked like that.

As I continued to struggle with myself and my lack of faith, I knew that I was not going to receive any sort of miraculous job offer again if I wasn’t able to just let it go and trust. In this moment of understanding, which came of course at about 1 in the morning one night, I made one final plea with God. I told Him that if He wanted me to turn down this job offer (which I reminded Him was a really good offer) then He needed to let me know by the next morning because I needed to let them know. In my hour of desperation, I sent out a mass email to a few of my closest companions; the ones who know me the best and who would be straight up with me. I quickly explained my situation and told them to get back to me ASAP. Little did they know that I was hoping in one of their responses would lie God’s ultimate answer for me.

I was hoping for some miracle when I woke up. You know, I thought I may wake up with the right answer on my tongue or feel somehow rejuvenated and excited. Nope. I woke up feeling even more confused and unsure, and most assuredly, I felt sick of waiting. I was about to just do what felt safest to me. Safe to me meant accepting the job. It was good and it would earn me a living plus some. I would have stuff and I would be able to finally tell everyone that I have a plan for my life this year! Here’s the thing though: God sometimes does not take us along the path that seems so safe to us, and sometimes we have to go through times of waiting so we can learn to lean on Him. And at that point, I just felt frustrated. I was making big girl decisions on dating and where I would move and whether or not that would be a good choice, and all that time I wondered why in the world everyone else was getting jobs right where they wanted them and never had to make any decisions about relationships and boyfriends and moving away from them like I had to do. What in the world? You could say that that morning, I had no faith.

So there I was, vacuuming the kitchen, when I finally decided it was time to make my decision, even though I still didn’t know or understand. Somehow I knew that I needed to say no because this was not where I was supposed to be this year, but yet I wanted that safety. Before I made the call I checked my email, almost forgetting about my desperate call to help the night before to my friends. And there it was for me, my answer. One of my friends responded with the most honest and thoughtful answers in which she thought of me and what would be best for my life. Here is some of what she said that gave me the answer I needed to hear that morning:

“But from my opinion, I don’t see you interacting in that job. And I know you would want some place to go…like STARBUCKS!! Do they have one of those? And honestly…I think you NEED to be VERY SURE about this before doing it! This is a big step and a big opportunity but if you’re having doubts and feeling scared, I would say no. Erica, only YOU know (well, God) knows what’s best! Just please be confident in your decision. I don’t want you to regret it because you deserve the best! I love you, Erica! Let me know how things go!”

Man, that email came at exactly the right time. And as I called and denied the job, as hard as it was to understand why God did not want me there when it all seemed pretty good to me, I had an ultimate peace after it was done.

And so, more waiting. I still am not totally sure why God shut the door on that or why it is taking Him so long to show me where the opened door is, but I do know that I trust Him. I may not know why in September or even in January, but someday it will all make sense, and soon enough His plan will begin to unfold; I just need to wait for it.

Surely anything I get is going to be a miracle and something I can tell you for sure I did not do on my own. I am simply going to enjoy the journey and trust, even when I feel blind and confused, and even left behind, because I know that there is a perfect plan out there, and that sure does take a whole lot of pressure off of me!

As I prepare during this season of waiting, I am constantly reminded of this beautiful verse I found way back in August, 2008:

“Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.”

–Psalm 27:14

And as for now, I am taking this time to write a lot more. I know I haven’t posted, and I’m not exactly impressed by what I have gotten down on paper just yet, but I wrote a children’s story! My friend is going to put together some illustrations for me and I even got a connection to a publisher! Trust me, if I get it published you will know J I guess God does know exactly what He is doing…without the wait I would not have time for one of my greatest passions.

Keeps Me Turnin' Home

Just a few days ago I touched ground again in my hometown. One can have all of the glitz and glamour and adventures of far-away places, but sometimes it is good to remember that place where you came from. I will admit that I often think about other places and how magical they sound, but then when I am in those places I defend West Michigan like it’s my job.

Last night when my family and I got back from the cottage up north, Jessie and I debated for a couple of hours of where we would go watch the Fourth of July fireworks. We already had our annual (22 years for me!) cottage July Fourth celebration, and usually on the actual holiday we are with friends spending time in good old Grandville. Things are now more complex because yesterday we had the option of either going to the beach to watch the fireworks, go downtown and watch a display in the city, or go to our usual spot in the grass at Grandville Middle School. Honestly, the thought of going to Grandville’s fireworks did not inspire me, just because it was Grandville…my hometown. And I mean given the choice of an expensive show on the beaches of Grand Haven or sitting on damp grass along Wilson Ave. which would you choose? However, after much debate, we decided we would just go to Grandville’s.

As we drove around town, stopping at my favorite gas station to get pop, I was able to really check the town out again for the first time in a long time. We drove past my high school where I saw those beautiful tennis courts where so many matches were played. We passed the mall where I remember spending my middle school weekends with my friends and waiting outside the movie theater for my parents to pick me up. Then we drove along Rivertown Crossings where Rachel once drove on the wrong side of the road and almost got us all killed. And of course we went by Panera Bread where my mom and I would stop nearly every Saturday morning for coffee during the long and cold winters and where just this year I met Sara to warm up in the -22 degree bitterness. Then we passed the boy’s house that I had a crush on since sixth grade and I remembered how in high school my friends would pull into his house just to make me nervous. And Steak n’ Shake where we all went after prom until 2 am laughing until I couldn’t breathe. Then going down Barry and being reminded of the first time I drove my white minivan through a blizzard down that hill right after I got my license. When we finally got to Wilson and saw the American flags lined along the street with family after family walking down with lawn chairs and lemonades and firecrackers, I felt good to be home and was proud of Grandville; a place where not just a season of my life occurred, but my whole life. The place I grew up in and came back to over holidays and long weekends in college. The town that really did build me and helped launch me into the real world. Even though the fireworks were probably not as great as the ones along the beach, and the same band that’s been playing for years that plays the same songs year after year was there, and the same elephant ears and walking taco stands were up, it could not have been a better hometown Fourth of July.

I think it’s really precious how people talk about their hometowns. In Florida as we would all reminisce about the place we left behind so far away, each would describe it as something incredible. I would hear them all speak about Maryland or West Virginia or Georgia and so on in ways that made me actually want to visit. Each town held something special to each of us, and not because of the sites or the things in the place, but because of the memories stored there. I mean, who can really say if Michigan or Georgia is better (I personally say Michigan, but I guess I am not being objective)? It’s all in the memories. And no matter how far away I go or new places I fall in love with, my heart will always be warmed when I see the “Vernor’s Ginger Ale” sign on the pop machines like I did for the first time in a long time yesterday…because, let me tell you, in no other state I have been in yet do they have the choice of Vernors on the vending machine.

The lyrics to the song below are some of my favorites. Whoever wrote the song did an amazing job because they make me feel like I am back home even when I am far away, and it reminds me of how wonderful it is to remember where you came from. It’s true, the memories on each corner of the street in Grandville, and being able to drive along the old roads and pass the Rainbow Grill and know that your mom and grandpa have been going there for years just like you is something that does keep you turning home.

Turning Home –David Nail

Usually take one last pass through town, stop the car, touch the ground

Watch those street lights swayin’ in the breeze. Decorated storefronts. Rusty ol’ gas pumps.

Try to fill my mind up with somethin’ ‘fore I go.

Picture postcard memories, well, they always make for good company.

I don’t know no town like the ol’ town, even when the miles are many, I feel like I’m still around.

Deep inside me like a ring’s through an oak tree, there’s something ‘bout a Sunday when I’m gone

That keeps me turnin’ home.

Standin’ here beneath these billboard lights, takes me back to those autumn nights.

Hometown bleachers packed real tight as we marched down the field.

My feet would swing from a dropped tailgate, out on Airport Road real late.

No one could walk a line too straight, but usually made it home alright.

And glory days I can’t relive, stories I’ll never forget.

I don’t know no friends, like the old friends. I never seem to laugh now, like I did with them.

But deep inside me, a piece of my history, I hear their voice even though they’re gone

And it keeps me turnin’ home.

Never twice the same way does it start, sure enough she stole my heart. On that ol’ gym floor spinnin’ ‘round and ‘round one night. And though we both tried real hard to wait, we sure did love the taste of the sweet love bein’ made, and prayin’ I got it right.

Graduation came and went, along with all the time we spent.

I don’t know no love like the first love. When I think about the best times, she’s the one I think of.

Deep inside me, oh the taste is bittersweet, I see her smilin’ even though she’s gone

And it keeps me turnin’ home.

Laughter

Lately I have been thinking about just how much I have been laughing. I know that sounds weird, and to many of you are probably thinking, “You laugh a lot, why would you think about that now?” But the past couple of months I have just been laughing a lot; and I mean the deep kinds of laughs that cause you to go to a separate room to let it all out and the constant giggles that spring upon me whenever they so desire. I don’t know exactly why, but I do know that this feeling of always having a smile on the inside is something I always felt this growing up, but in the recent years my carefree spirit was somehow shadowed briefly by little stresses, worrying about silly things, and this strange feeling of unrest and always wondering what was going on somewhere else. Of course I had some amazing times and laughed until I couldn’t stand it on so many different occasions, but inside I often felt anxious and as much as I read my Bible or prayed, my faith in God’s next steps for me in relationships or a career was not really there and I always felt a slight inner turmoil.

And now, I feel such celebration. Not necessarily because of the place I am living right now or that the people are better than the people at home. But for the first time in a really long time I feel such a peace and such a deep laughter. Laughing is probably one of my favorite things to do and in the past few weeks between checking guests in and spending hours getting burnt on the beach that spirit of life and giggles came back for real.

Somehow I have relearned the joy of being happy in the moment I am in right now. I felt completely content making a shell frame at 11 pm without wondering or worrying what else I could be doing. Within the hours of work and getting mosquito bites and driving too fast on the golf cart I was taught again about laughter and love. I know that may sound weird, but it’s true. I love that I have new people in my life who forced their way in and took the time to laugh with me and who told me their stories despite the fact that we may only be together for a short time. I like that I know again the wonderful feeling of someone making sure they spend time with you and telling you that they want to see you without being cocky or masking it with a, “Well I have to head that way anyway so it was on my way to see you, that’s why…” I like that things move slowly here and people talk slower and time moves at its own pace. I like that I can spend hours upon hours with someone talking on a dock along the Bayou, or on a picnic table in the middle of the hot night, or driving off island passing trees with blowing Spanish moss, or on the sand, or behind the front desk at work and feel like there is nowhere else in the world I would rather be. And I like how I don’t feel inhabited or closed off anymore.

It’s funny that in these months of experiencing true independence, I, in fact learned the meaning of dependence. I have always been so independent and stayed a good distance away from anything that I thought would get in my way. But now I have learned just how beautiful depending on people is. My mom from the time I was little would always read me that story The Rag Coat. In the story, the dad tells his little girl, “People need people.” It’s a beautiful story, and I highly recommend it, but that quote, more than anything else in that book is so true. People do need people. As much as you try to push them away, or not get too close, or worry that if you allow yourself to love or to laugh too much or to make too many memories with someone you might have to leave just leaves emptiness. People are what make this world so beautiful. Those great memories stored in my heart are never of the times I chose to be by myself (although, I do need my alone time), but are rather the times when I danced and laughed the whole night away with with my friends, or when I got up at 6 am to collect shells with Liz, or when a bunch of us got ice cream and just walked around aimlessly. People need people. You can’t do everything on your own. I like doing things on my own, but this journey has taught me that I can’t. And guess what? That’s okay; because I will tell you this: if you are floating in the ocean by yourself during stingray season you sure as hell better have a good handful of people who will get to you in a drop of a hat. And when you finally learned and became ok with the fact that you are no good at cooking, you want someone by your side who knows the best place to get take out calamari and who can help you bake the pizza rolls. Without people, and without giving a little bit of your heart and soul and secrets to those people and in return getting a piece of them as well, life doesn’t have that laughter. Independence is wonderful, but allowing yourself to be a little dependent is what deepens the soul.

The past few weeks I have done just that; sharing and laughing and making memories and telling people my dreams and in return laughing harder than I have in forever. I believe, truly, that God wants us to be happy and that is why He placed special people in our lives and created an Earth filled with wonders. I am still in awe of the depth of the ocean and what comes out from it. Every morning and evening after high tide new treasures are washed up. How in the world are some of those shells hot pink and how can dolphins swim and jump with such ease? Life is so beautiful and often times we allow past hurts or bitterness or worry to steal what is so incredible right in front of our eyes. We don’t really look at the sunset or listen to our friend talking or take time to eat a slow dinner or take a drive with all of the windows open even after you did your hair because we are too busy hashing out something that is stealing away our joy and laughter. And while I was down here I regained that laughter and was reminded of what it is like to feel as if you are going to burst with giggles over the silliest thing that no one else but you and that person right there would find funny.

Now every time I see a bottle of Sangria or bug spray, or smell the salty air mixed with the smell of fresh shrimp and red wine, or hear the sound of the surf or the song “Sweet Home Alabama” or hear someone ask, “reaalllllly?” I am reminded of a memory here and I laugh and laugh remembering, and I love that. Danishes, and hummus, my Jeep Wrangler, ugly Bermuda shorts, big sun bonnets, southern accents, and bottles of Perrier water all hold something special.

I would encourage everyone to take the time to laugh and not care what anyone else thinks of you. And to let people in and know the true celebration of life, and then of course, to pass it on to everyone along your journey.

During my days off down here, besides spending time with my friends, I have been able to read a lot. I re read Cold Tangerines and came across this paragraph that reminded me so much of the complete joy and laughter and zest for life I feel now:

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift….to remind us that we serve a fast-dancing God, a God who set this world whirling and crashing through space so that we could live from our toes and drum out the pulse of a billion veins carrying lifeblood to a billion hearts, temples to a God that got his hands dirty from making us from dust. Let’s dance and shimmer and scrawl out our stories across the sky, like he taught us to. Let’s echo his words, and let our lives speak those words: It is good.”

Because life is good; really good. And I really believe that God takes such delight when He sees me down on this earth swimming with a friend He put in my life for just that moment in the turquoise ocean he created. And I believe that God laughs like I do when He sees me laughing in the back room at work with someone and I think that God thinks it is good when He watches us depend upon each other and make the most out of the experience and people He provided us with.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." -Oscar Wilde

It's strange how fast time goes by. I suppose part of this is good, because it means that life is enjoyable and exciting. But, I have been thinking recently just how many things I want to do and how time just flies by without warning. How am I ever going to accomplish all I want? For example, while I have been down in Boca here are some things I have added to my already huge list of what I want to do in my life:

*Learn how to surf - there is a 2 week surf camp out in California that I am so going to attend!
*Learn how to play the drums...but just for fun in my own privacy
*Catch a 200 lb. tarpon (this I can accomplish next summer, easily)
*Boat the Intercoastal highway from Rhode Island down to Texas
*Race a sailboat in Grand Haven, MI

This list is in addition to the usual travel Europe, learn Spanish fluently, read all of the classic novels, write a couple books, etc. See? How am I going to do it all?!


I wish there were more hours in the day so I could spend even more time with friends, start new hobbies and get really good at them, or swim in the Gulf longer. But, I guess the greatest thing about life is that it keeps rolling along bringing new experiences and adventures.

Life is just so good and so thrilling and I love it. I love new experiences and the moment right before you dive into the unknown where you wonder if you will make close friends and memories, and if the unknown will eventually become the well-known. Something I believe is so true is the quote in my title, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." I hope I never just exist (looking at my life now, I don't foresee that as a problem!) but that everyday I live; I mean, really live.

There are way too many amazing people, good books, beautiful views, mysterious places, and things to learn to just sit by and exist or to not enjoy every moment or take a chance. That is why I love the next two quotes!

"Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly."

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain