As I was pondering what to write about for Thanksgiving, a couple things came to my mind. I could write about how every Thanksgiving it takes twenty minutes to explain a simple game like Apples to Apples to my family, or how my grandpa always says in one breath right after prayer, “Please pass the turkey, the gravy, mash potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes, and salt and pepper,” or how every year my dad tells the dumbest jokes that no one laughs at. Or, I could write a list of all of the things I am thankful for. The list seemed trite, and being in the strange emotional state I am in currently I wasn’t feeling writing about my Thanksgiving traditions. I was going to ‘skip’ this holiday, but all this week during my time of transition and change, there has been a simple thought that has kept me going when I have felt like giving up. And that is what I want to share with you. This story is Thanksgiving in its most simple and pure form. There is no glamor or glitz or turkey or any such thing that you may associate with the holiday, and probably to those high up directors and presidents of the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade it is silly. But to me, it will always be a special memory and one that will always remind me of the true meaning of being thankful.
Here is how the story began.
Last week was my last week teaching at Roanoke. During big transitions and emotional times of change, there comes a point when you just want it all to be over. It is during these days where the stress is so great and you can’t rely on your feelings because they are so twisted with emotion. My stress level last week was crazy; between packing up my apartment, saying goodbye, planning stuff for my students, packing up the classroom, and so on I was ready to just quit.
I was sad to say goodbye to my students who became such a part of my life. I wanted to give them something special before I left. It wasn’t that I wanted them to always remember me, but I wanted them to know how special and important they are in this crazy world, and to know that even when they don’t feel it, people love them. This group of kids really needed to hear that, especially in today’s world of never feeling good enough. I remembered when I was in fifth grade and my mom, who also was my teacher, made each of the students a frame with a nice note, our picture, and a list of things our fellow students said about us. I still have the frame today. I remember when I got it I did feel special and I still look at it and smile at what my fifth grade classmates thought of me. I decided this was the perfect gift for these students.
Weeks before, I had every kid write something nice about all of their classmates. As I read through their comments I noticed how one little girl who in society’s eyes may not have it all together, the child that gets picked on at school and doesn’t get a lot of support at home, the kind of student you wouldn’t blame for saying nothing but mean things about her classmates because no one is that nice to her anyway. I saw that she wrote the most genuine and sweet things about her classmates, and her very paper was the paper that forced me to finish this project on the nights when I was tired or thought I had better things to do (because, I would tell myself, what 11 year old today wants a frame with compliments on them when I could just give them candy or a McDonalds gift card?).
I did finish the frames, and on my second to last day of teaching I brought them in to hand out to the kids. I was thinking a super lot about them because I was exhausted and had convinced myself that these students would take the frame and vocalize how they would have liked something better from me. Nonetheless, I wanted them to feel special about themselves, even if they acted like they didn’t want them.
I pulled them into our meeting area and had them sit in an oval and I begin my quick 30 second speech about how much I have enjoyed them and how wonderful I think each of them are. I explained how we each have different talents but each of our talents are unique to us. I then went on to say how I could have gotten them candy, but candy doesn’t last and this always will. I ended with the cheesy, but true, statement that if they ever feel like they aren’t good enough or that no one likes them they can look at these. Honestly, I was expecting to see some of them start rolling their eyes or asking if we were done yet, but I got neither responses. They looked at me wide eyed and nodded in agreement, eager to see what I was going to pass out. I pulled out one of the frames and they all gasped as if I was holding up a million dollar check for them to all split. They all began saying, “You did not have to do this for us!” and “We don’t deserve this!” and “We should be buying you gifts!” and “Those look amazing!” I started to smile because their responses caught me off guard.
I began passing out the frames. With each frame being passed, the room grew a little louder with students smiling and laughing and sharing with others what their classmates wrote about them. They were so excited. I think I will always remember that moment when these kids who were proud of themselves and who did feel special. I hope everyone gets to be in a room full of eleven year olds (or at least just a group of people) when you can just feel the joy in the air, and not the joy that they got something materialistic because I feel the joy would not have been there like it was. This joy was of the sort of belonging and love.
But this part of the story is not even what I am focusing on.
After I passed out the frames to every student, someone asked me why there was another frame in my bag. I explained that I had an extra one in case any of their frames broke during the day. And after that, the day went on. I did notice that during Reader’s Workshop some of my students who are always on task were up more than usual, but other than that, the day was like any other. After lunch and recess I taught a short writing lesson and gave them time to write during which I was checking the last of my emails and grading the last of the papers. I turned around and there stood five of my students holding something behind their back. They were all smiling, and I grew suspicious.
Without introduction, they presented me with a frame; the very extra frame I had in my bag. Inside the frame was a very personalized and precious list of why I am special to them. I couldn’t believe it. My students snuck the frame from my bag, collected beautiful thoughts from one another and put it together at recess for me. I couldn’t have been more proud and humbled by their gesture. I felt so undeserving of their sweet words, and it will be something I will always hold dear.
On the top of the frame they wrote, “From your first class.” It filled my heart.
Thanksgiving is such a beautiful time to remember all that we have, and this story will always make me feel thankful for something so much more precious than material goods; the heart of a child and the gift of uplifting words of people who care about you and remind you that you are making a difference even when you think the world is no different because of you. That, to me, is what Thanksgiving is all about.
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