Capturing Hearts

Today was a beautiful snow day. If I were back in Michigan today for sure would not have been a snow day, but I am in Huntington County, Indiana, and the common phrase is always, “You have to remember it’s county wide.” People keep saying this to me whenever I am shocked that my elementary school was canceled. It really is different from home though. Huntington County Community School Corporation does cover the entire county, most of which is all farmland. This indeed does mean that most of those roads leading to the students’ homes don’t hardly get plowed. And, let’s be honest here, Indiana is not exactly amazing at plowing. But, alas, today was a snow day.

Nothing exciting, just more planning and ordering my graduation cap and gown, and of course, I was able to chat with my roommates, which I haven’t really been able to do for a couple of weeks. As I was telling them some stories about my students, I suddenly felt this sadness. I have noticed that this student struggles and does not have many friends. I have watched situations unfold and felt frustrated. I think we all understand or can remember what it was like back in school, or even today maybe, when we feel alone or unwanted by people. I know the moments I have felt that way I always know that I can call my mom or spend time with my family and they will remind me that life isn’t as bad as it seems at that moment. This student does not have that. Just last week this student had a meltdown right after one of my lessons. As I had the rest of the class line up for art, I sat back with this girl because something inside of me felt the need to reach out to her.

I let her cry for a second, because you know what? I think sometimes when we are sad or upset we just need to have someone who will let us cry. And then I chatted with her. I explained in one of my great teacher prepared speeches that we all have rough days and we just need to start over. Yeah, easy for me to say, right? Then, in between her soft sobs, she exclaimed, “But it’s never a new day! It’s always the same day over and over again!” No pre-memorized speech fit the criteria for that line, and no class really taught me how to respond to something like that. I think for the first thirty seconds I just sat there watching her cry some more and replaying her words in my head. What a hopeless feeling to feel like there is never a new day. In that moment I wish I had my mom or another really experienced teacher there to walk me through this, but I looked around and I was the only adult in the classroom.

In that moment I discarded logic and textbook replies and decided this kid’s heart was hurting and she has no one; and maybe I could be her someone. I explained to her that I, too, understand what it is like to be insulted or hurt. She seemed surprised, and I explained that sometimes even students have recently said things to me that were hurtful and that she needs to watch how I handle the insults. As we sat talking, she began wiping her eyes off and collecting her things for art.

The next day, another student made a nasty comment (all in fun…I think, hah) about my art work on the board. She saw this and ran up to me and said, “I think your artwork is beautiful, Miss Abel” and I couldn’t help but smile because you know what? Even the people who are harder to love need to be loved, and sometimes those people can be the ones who have your back in the end anyway.

Before my student teaching I prayed that God would put students in my path that I could make a difference on. There is no doubt in my mind that there are students I need to reach out to and capture their hearts, but I forgot just how much some of them are capturing mine, too.
And even though lately some things have been difficult, and I have found myself placed in some students’ lives and it hasn’t always come easily, I just keep reminding myself that I am really doing it for Jesus. Sure, it is my job, but in the end it is really between me and Him.

“Those who give one of these little ones a cup of cold water because they are my followers will truly get their reward.” –Matthew 10:42

Sometimes things can seem overwhelming and currently life just seems a little that way, and I am reminded of these words:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, alterior motives: be kind anyway. If you are successful ou will win some false friends and true enemies: succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: build anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: give your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. IT was never between you and them anyway.” –Mother Teresa