Happy Wednesday

Last year, around this very time, I began reading the book "Eat Pray Love." After about page 30, I stopped reading because I am not a huge fan of reading about people leaving their husbands to go live their own life. Those "Eat Pray Love" people: don't freak out or start defending the book now, or explaining to me why she left her husband, I am just saying the first 30 pages made me kind of mad at this woman for being so selfish. I never finished the book.

Before Christmas, Beth, Brittany, Ashley, Carrie and I watched the movie version of "Eat Pray Love" and I hated it, all except one part. There is a part in the movie where Liz is talking to her new friend Richard and telling him just how much she misses her ex husband, David. The clip is relatively short, but it was touching to me. What I liked most was Richard's response to her and then how after he left her alone Liz (Julia Roberts) listened to his words and basically 'emotionally let go' of her ex husband.

Maybe I loved that part because I was letting go too, but either way I thought that this part in the actual book had to be at least 70% better than the movie part. So last week, upon remembering this scene (don't even ask why I even thought about this stupid scene recently...), I decided to look this part up in the book. My opinion about writing always being better than movies was true. This part in the book is just beautiful to me.

I love it for many reasons. I love it because I think Richard is just a great friend to Liz, and he reminds me of a few of my friends. The kind of friends who tell you like it is and force you to realize certain things. I love this part because allow me to let you in on a little secret: love isn't always so clean cut or easy. I love this part because I don't believe in soul mates but after reading it I do believe in the kind of soul mates Richard is talking about. I love it because Richard basically tells Liz it's okay to feel what you are feeling. That is so true because in life we can't not feel what we feel. And finally, I love this part because I think it is just good writing, plain and simple. You can just feel the hurt of letting go when you read it, and it makes you feel sad, which is just what good writing should do: make you feel what the author is writing about.

Here it is, the long but beautiful words from the book "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It begins with her friend Richard talking :

“What’s got you all wadded up?” he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.
“Don’t ask” I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, “And worst of all, I can’t stop obsessing over David. I thought I was over him, but it’s all coming up again.”
He says, “Give it another six months, you’ll feel better.”
“I’ve already given it twelve months, Richard.”
“Then give it six more. Just keep throwin’ six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time.”
I exhale hotly though my nose, bull-like.
“Groceries,” Richard says, “listen to me. Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it – in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India.”
“But I really loved him.”
“Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don’t you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching. I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that’s just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That’s just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries – you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It’s your destiny. Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate.”
“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of your marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”
“But I love him.”
“So love him.”
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”
“But I wish me and David could —“
He cuts me off. “See, now that’s your problem. You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.”

Happy Wednesday.