It has been such a long time since I have updated. Okay, probably not a super long time, but so much has happened between when I last posted until now, so it seems like it has been a while. Here is an updated list of the current events in my life:

-I have been having just a wonderful time with friends. From going to the Tin Caps game, to eating pizza, to driving around creeping, life with all of the wonderful girls in my life has been wonderful.
-Tennis is here again.
-I started my Junior Block Practicum 2 weeks ago. I am in a great first grade class in Ft. Wayne where I have been challenged in extreme ways concerning my abilities to teach. My co-op teacher is intense, and probably one of the best teachers I have met, so I feel intimidated and slightly nervous...something I haven't really experienced in the classroom yet. The experience is teaching me a lot!
-Afternoon classes = busy and I am tired.
-I have had some great conversations that have challenged me and pushed me and lots of good laughs and some wonderfully awkward moments.

It seems like life is just flying by right now and I am not totally sure how to make it stop. I don't know where to begin with my homework load, and if I am being totally honest here, my emotions have been getting the best of me lately. I have always known this about myself, but it has become more evident in these last two weeks: it is very hard for me to give up control of my life. I have been lacking in the area of faith lately and doubting silly things and spending way too much time worrying, even after I have given it up to God. For this reason, I am going to make a small list of goals for things that I need to work on this week:
-Begin each day with prayer (yes...even before I leave for school at 7 a.m. - it will be a challenge)
-Try to stop over thinking things haha. So easy to say, but so hard to do.
-Clean my car out.
-Try my best at tennis, even when I am tired and have other things on my mind.

Well after looking at that list I think it definitely calls for this quote, and my motto for each day this week: "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way." -Dr. Seuss :)

Blessed.

"Sometimes I ask the question, 'My Lord is this your will?' It's then I hear you answer me, 'My precious child...be still.'
Sometimes I feel frustrated, cause I think I know what's best. It's then I hear you say to me, 'My busy child...just rest.'
Sometimes I feel so lonely, and I think I'd like a mate. your still small voice gets oh so clear and says, 'My child...please wait.'
'I know the plans I have for you, the wondrous things you'll see; If you can just be patient child, and put your trust in me.
I've plans to draw you closer. I've plans to help you grow. There's so much I know you cannot see, and much you do not know.
But know this child...I love you! You are precious unto me. Before I formed you in the womb, I planned your destiny.
I've something very special I hope for you to learn. The gifts I wish to give to you are gifts you cannot earn. They cam without a pirce tag, but not without a cost; At Calvary, I gave my son, so you would not be lost. Rest child, and do not weary of doing what is good. I promise I'll come back for you, just like I said I would. Your name is written on my palm, I never could forget, therefore do not be discouraged when my answer is...Not Yet."

I found this poem last year on accident and I love it! I often read it to remind myself that I am not in control and that God really does know what is best. I think that sometimes people my age sit and worry about doing God's will and making sure that they are in it. This poem reminds me that I am in God's will if I stay in communication with Him.

I feel like this past week has been very strange. I was in Florida over Easter, and it was amazing! I flew into Ft. Wayne Tuesday night at 10, and as soon as I got back to Huntington I was hit hard with homework and the realization of the real world. As most of you know, lately I have been choosing the social life over the academic life which has forced me into long nights of staying up until 4 a.m. finishing homework. You would all be proud to know that tonight, I have chosen homework over friends haha. Let's see if I can get anything done...

Besides all of that, I have been totally blown away by life recently...in the best of ways. Lindsay and I seriously spent a good ten minutes just laughing about the way our lives our turning out. Never in a million years would I think I would be in the positions or experience what I have. It only shows me that you never ever know what God is going to do in your life, and it simply amazes me how when you think something is impossible, God goes and shows you that it is not impossible for Him. Life truly is beautiful, and friends are truly beautiful and I feel so blessed to be where I am right now.

Friends

Wow. Let me first start off by saying that I have been back to school now for over a week and I feel so incredibly lazy. I don’t want to do anything but hang out with my friends, eat, and sleep. How horrible is that? I would be concerned, but after talking to several people I have found that I am not alone in my laziness. Here is the beautiful thing too: in just two more days (crammed full of homework, mind you) I will be flying back down to Gasparilla to spend Easter with my family. Sounds good to me.

I feel like I have so many things I could share right now, but the one thing that has just had me thinking for the past few days is the way people (well…in this case, me) treat other people. Why do humans hurt the people that are closest to them? Why is it so much easier to get mad or to ignore or to not care about that one person who has always been there for you and yet put so much time and effort into someone who doesn’t truly care about you? It is so sad. I think we always just assume that that one person who would do anything for us is always going to be there, no matter what you do or don’t say to them or whether or not you say the right thing at the right time. It is probably true that they will, for the most part, always be there for you, because they are the ones that deeply care for you, for you. That is why we just blow them off so much. That is so not fair or right. I am only talking to myself here and I have been so convicted lately about some of my past actions to someone who has always been such a great friend and wonderful person in my life. I feel like the really nice people in the world seem to get the shaft a lot. It’s really funny to me that sometimes we can sit around and complain about why can’t a guy do this for you or why your friend can’t just say the right thing and we go on and on about how there aren’t any good people or good catches out there. Then, when it comes along, and that guy or that friend, or anyone treat you the way you would want to be treated we label them as creepers or needy or something along those lines, when in reality, isn’t that what we were just asking for anyway? I mean, seriously, what is up with that?

I guess what I am ultimately trying to say is to make sure you realize a good friend when you have them. Don’t take them for granted or just fit them into your schedule when it is most convenient for you. This past week, like I said, brought that home for me. All of a sudden I was reminded of this person who has been such a steady person and constant in my life now for 3 years and I became sad that him and I have not talked for a couple of months and I missed him.

Don’t let broken relationships go unfixed. Nothing hurts worse than losing touch with a friend, especially one that is that person, who was, your person, you know? And besides, good people, I mean, those really good people who can talk to you about anything, comfort you when you cry, laugh with you and at you, and who you know would drop anything to help you out are hard to find.

And to end, here is a really great quote that I sometimes need to keep reminding myself of:

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.”

Sand Dollars and Slow Moving Turtles

Greetings from the island! Yes...I have not written in a while. School began to kick my butt, and made me want spring break more than anything. My dreams finally came true yesterday at 5:45 p.m. And that is where my newest adventure began...

We left Huntington in the midst of a rainstorm, which led Lindsay and I to be sitting in our apartment all of Saturday going nuts waiting for 5:45 to come. It finally came, and Chels, Christen, Lindsay and I were taken to the Ft. Wayne airport where we were promptly loaded on our plane. The ride was amazing...pretty sure that we were the entertainment...ah well. Great memories.

Our rental car was there (smaller then what it looked like on the internet...), so we stuffed our luggage, juiced up the GPS and were on our way to the island. It was dark and warm out, and in an hour we were on Gasparilla Island: the most beautiful, quaint and old world island I have seen. Once we got into our condo, we checked the place out thoroughly, grabbed our rooms and unpacked. I took my time and opened up the windows where I could hear the sound of the ocean waves crashing along the shore. Immediately I was at peace and felt so relaxed. I couldn't see the ocean because it was so dark out, so I could not wait until morning...

...and when morning came, I sat up in my bed and there she was! The beautiful ocean, right there. The sun was out, the waves were huge, and the pathway to the sandy shore was calling my name. So, what did I do? Made some coffee, ran downstairs and put on my shoes, and then ran outside and took a jog along the beach - right alongside the ocean. Incredible. If I could try and paint you a picture it would go something like this: a few older couples with their dogs walking, a young jogger here and there, and sand dollars everywhere. I saw a dolphin on my run, and even a slow moving turtle crossing into the sand. It was one of those moments when you just want to thank God for creating all of that. Especially when it seemed like I was the only one on the shoreline, and I thought, "You created this beauty for my eyes?"

I got back in to find my lovely friends awake and sipping coffee. We got in our golf cart and went exploring...and what an adventure that was. Luckily, this island is all about the golf carts. We explored the beautiful houses along the coast, the palm and orange trees, and of course, we checked out the little restaurants and coffee shops in town. So good. After grabbing some groceries, we prepared ourselves for some intense beach tanning time. We set up camp and simply just loved life. Of course, when we came back in, we were burnt, but it was totally worth it, and we plan to repeat that process tomorrow.

We then began preparing dinner. Christen started making spaghetti while I set the table including sparkling grape juice and bread with oil. It was delicious and perfect. We lit the candles and played Michael Buble. Charming.

So now here I sit burnt and loving life listening to Michael replay over and over again with my friends doing there thing on the various furniture in the room. Life does not get much better than this. Can't wait until tomorrow :)

INSANITY!

haha. Okay, so I thought I would title this post Insanity simply because Lindsay and I just completed an Insanity workout. Let's just say, it was insane. I'm feeling good though. To top it off, in about an hour we (as in the roommates) are going to order chinese food. Nothing like working out and then eating chinese, huh?
I guess that is not the only reason I title this Insane. Lately, I have just been insanely happy. There is not any particular reason why, and I am happy about that. It has just been the little things that have been making me smile and laugh and feel great. I'm not saying the past week has been easy, because there have been so many twist and turns (literally and figuratively speaking) that have thrown me off. Despite that, however, I am really loving the people in my life at the moment and the activities that have brought us together in the past week. Here is a bulleted :) update:

-Last weekend = quality weekend at home.
-Monday: started off the week getting in an accident bright and early. I don't even want to get into the whole thing now, because I am just so excited that I am alive. It happened on campus because I slid on ice and hit a few trees, spun all the way around, and then started to go down a ditch. Praise the Lord a fire hydrant was placed there because it stopped my downward fall. I was so totally freaked out, but the police and campus maintenance (did I mention this happened on campus...embarrassing lol) were so great. And...of course, my friends passing the spot on the way to class were pretty great too. Scarlet (my car) is not so fortunate, but hopefully with some careful work, she will be back in our lives in a few weeks.
-Monday night: bachelor night.
-Tuesday: snow storm began. I only had one class and chapel, so essentially, I was loving life. Usually I go in to school and observe, but the snow canceled all local schools. I did Pilate's, slept, did some homework, devotions, and watched a movie. Beautiful.
-Wednesday: Just a great day. Loved classes and friends, and all of those who keep giving me rides to places :) Chapel was great. Shane Claiborne spoke and was funny and great.
-Thursday: Snow storm continues. At night I went to Kellyn, Carrie, Brittany, and Beth's apartment at like 6 to do homework and just hang out. It took me about 4 hours to do a 2 page journal for math that would normally take only maybe 45 minutes simply because I was having too much fun. Can't even tell you all that went on in that apartment, but it was amazing.
-Friday: Classes were slightly boring, but the plans for tonight are chinese and then hanging out with some amazing friends!
That was probably totally boring, but that's all I have for now. I guess that works, since it is V-day soon and we should all focus on loving people :) And since I will be eating chinese soon, I thought I should share about the last time I ordered out chinese. It was in June and Christen and Lindsay were up visiting. We were sunburned and tired and ordered $40 worth of chinese food for the three of us. We don't know how that happened, but it did. The funny thing was, was that it wasn't even that good of food.

So, in the spirit of Valentine's Day and the fact that God really does have control over our lives, here is a great quote:
"If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be. If it continues to fly, let it soar, have faith God has something better in store."

A Nickel and Three Pennies

So things have been CRAZY lately and I cannot believe January is over! I can’t think of a better way to start off 2010 than what I was able to do this year. It would take me forever to update you on the last few weeks. The big picture is that I finished up teaching at Harrison Hill, and classes have begun. My goal for getting all As is so far so good…yes, I realize we are only 2 weeks into the semester but I have to take this week by week ;)

I have a lot I could say, but there have been a few incidences that have touched me so deeply that I need to continue to remind myself of. Of course, they are to do with my kindergartners. On my last day with them I brought them each a bag filled with a few things that every 5 year old should have. Nothing expensive or over the top, and nothing that was anything to get particularly excited about. As I passed out each bag to each child, they were ecstatic. It was so precious to see them eagerly wait for me to tap on their shoulder and tell them it was in fact their turn to get their little present. One little girl, Kitana, was particularly excited. When it was her turn she expressed to me through gasps of joy that she had something special for me in her backpack. The entire time she kept saying that she knows I am going to love the gift she has for me and that she can’t wait to give it to me.

I’m not going to lie here, but the first thing that came to my mind was Panera Bread gift card. Perfect gift. I knew that Kitana’s gift to me would not be that, or anything close to that, because like all of the children in that classroom, she was below the poverty line. As her and I walked to her cubby to exchange gifts, she insisted that she give me her gift first and that I close my eyes. I stood there with my eyes closed for a very long time as Kitana wrestled with some sort of plastic bag. Finally she told me to open up my hand and my eyes. As I did so, she emptied a plastic bag labeled “Miss Abel” on it into my hand, and a nickel and 3 pennies came out. I have opened hundreds of gifts in my life, but I can tell you that none of them have brought me as much joy as that 8 cents did. She gave me something so special to her, something she has limited amounts of and gave it to me. It wasn’t even the fact that she gave me a few cents, but the fact that she took the time to find it, label a baggy, and keep it in her backpack for a week was what completely touched my heart. She was thrilled when she let the coins dump into my hand, and I was just as thrilled. I hugged her and expressed my happiness, and as I hugged her little body she whispered in my ear with her slight lisp, “I just knew you would love it.”

I learned so much through these children. So much more than what I can even begin to type on here. Something important that I realized through this was that if we can show people that we care about them and that what hurts them hurts us, we can make an impact. Even if we are only with them for a month, and even if we only can spare a few moments to sit and talk to them, they won’t forget. I know that I won’t forget them, and I even put that 8 cents Kitana gave me in a special cup in my room so that I would remember that there is a need out there, and we need to go out and do whatever we can to fill it.

So, I leave you with a picture of these kindergartners (minus three of them) on our last day together…

...and with a great story I read from the book, “50 Things That Really Matter”:

Saying “I Love You”

When I was in college, a man named Henry worked as a custodian in our student union building. White-haired, with a Pennsylvania Dutch accent, Henry could usually be seen in a baseball cap, a T-shirt, and a pair of jeans with a big silver-belt buckle.
He was the custodian, and he was the most respected and most well-known person in the building. Everyone loved Henry, and it was because of all the subtle ways he expressed his love for everyone around him. Henry didn’t have to say, “I love you.” He lived his love.
Henry was always excited when he met someone new, and he wanted to know everything about them. He felt it was important for too do things for people he valued. And Henry seemed to value everyone he met. He brought in articles or cartoons for certain people, went out of his way to introduce people to each other, kept track of dozens of names and birthdays in his wallet so he could send cards, and helped students keep in touch with graduates who had written him. He even discreetly assisted students who didn’t have enough money to buy their books.
Henry taught me-and many others he befriended-how to live life to the fullest. Not by skydiving or exploring some exotic country, but by appreciating where you are in life and valuing those around you.
The funny thing is that despite all he did and taught us, Henry truly believed that he was the lucky one-that he was the one who was gaining so much by getting to know us. But all of us who remember Henry know that we were the ones who were truly blessed.
We will never forget the man who taught us that the best way to say “I love you” often has little to do with the words.

Laugh So You Don't Cry :)

Laugh So You Don’t Cry : )

This week has seriously been OUT OF CONTROL. To try and even explain or give this crazy week justice, it would take me pages and pages of explaining my kindergarten class. So, instead of doing that, I am going to give you a list of random sayings/happenings of the last four days; and remember, this list is only the tip of the iceberg…gotta love five year olds.

*I am pretty sure I have said the words “You may not touch her there” about 100 times this week.
*This great kid in my class does this hilarious face shrugging “whoa” thing whenever I come up behind him. You probably have no idea what I am talking about, but at 5:45 in the morning when I do not want to get up I always think about this kid and how he makes me laugh so much and it gives me the energy to actually get to school.
*”Miss Abel, what we doin’?” (one of the kids said this to me after I got the class “lost” when I picked them up from art…haha.)
*So many inappropriate things I can’t even put them on here
*”He cutted!!”-every child in my class has said this at least 10 times
*”If you are not bleeding, then I do not want to hear about it.” –me, after they tattle on each other for no reason.
*”Bye Miss Abel!” –The boy in my room who can hardly speak English muttered these words to me today. I was so pumped!
*The kids singing “Fire Burning on the Dance Floor”…uh oh.

I know all of that seems crazy, because it has been, but while this week has proven to be incredibly challenging, I have learned so much and also had a lot of fun. The kids and I laugh a lot, and I am going to be sad to leave them. We have built such a relationship and I wish I could stay and watch them grow even more this year. Each one of them seems to have a hard home life, and I wish I could make it better for them. No child should have to be in the situations some of them are in. One little girl told me yesterday that her mom is very sick because in November she got in the car with her drunk ex boyfriend (who the little girl told me treated her and her mom mean) and they got in a bad car accident. Now she can’t even take care of herself, let alone her daughter and other children. The sad thing is, is that this story is only the beginning…and these children are five. Five years and they already know so much about the harshness of the world; more than I could imagine. They do not act like five year olds in any sense. They are so much stronger than that. One little boy came up to me today and told me he was hungry because at home they do not have much food. How sad. It’s stuff like that that keeps me going in, even when it is so chaotic and stressful that I think I want to quit. This experience has really opened my eyes and has made me really want to change the world haha. I know that sounds so silly and so elementary school, thinking that you will actually change the world. I know that I actually may not “change the world,” but I would like to think that I could at least change a few children’s circumstances when I am given the chance.

I know that was all heavy stuff. There have been several moments during the day and when I get back that I could cry because I am so tired and don’t know how to work with these kids. It is during those moments when the silliest thing makes me crack up…and not be able to stop! I know I laugh a lot…but this week I have been laughing so much! It has been a beautiful thing. I mean, what is better than not being able to stop laughing simply because some kid said “squiggly legs?” Well, that has been me all week. I can say that many of the best times of my days have been driving back and forth to school with three great girls where we can share our experiences and coffee. We even stopped on the way to Starbucks this week. So good. Lunch has also been great. Chelsey and I still occupy a table to ourselves in the teacher’s lounge, but we have been having a blast! I am sure you can only imagine…haha. Chelsey and I also have rooms right next to each other so we can make frequent trips to visit and laminate things together J She has been my saving grace these past few days hehe. And today when we all got in the car for the ride home we were all so excited to have a break. We definitely blasted “Sex on Fire” and let it all out…and that is when Chelsey and I could not stop laughing again. But, hey, that’s what life should be like, right?

So, when life seems slightly off (or five year olds seem out of control), try laughing…I am not kidding, it helps. And to all my education friends who are almost done with this j-term experience: go smell some construction paper and laminate something and you will feel better! :)