Blank Page

Disclaimer: Yesterday when I was checking my blog stats, I clicked something that deleted about three of my posts, including my last one. Needless to say, I was super annoyed and I can’t find where the posts went. Oops. And, I wrote this post yesterday, thought I posted it, but it did not work. Try number 2…here we go.

Let me share a little something with you. I am having the hardest time writing today! I am trying to write three different articles for a magazine. Two of the ideas were my own, so you would think I would be able to sit down to the computer and just pounce on the ideas. Wrong. For some reason, when I know that my article will be read by a real live editor (who could potentially tear it apart), for a real magazine publication, that will be read by thousands and thousands of people who actually have to pay to read the article I wrote, my mind sort of freezes. I hate that. Really, what I am doing with these articles are no different than what I have been doing before, it’s just in my mind I can see a clear picture of my editor reading my first drafts. Are they going to be tossed in the trash? Red ink all over my words? Crap.

This is not positive thinking or a good mental environment for the words to flow out naturally and create something that people should actually want to read. I have no reason to have writer’s block (except for the fact that everyone gets it). In fact, as I was checking my blog stats this morning it showed that my viewership has reached an all-time amazing level, and I now have readers in Russia, Australia, England, and South Africa. So, thank you! That being said, my mind should not blank out when I have to write something that I will be getting paid for, I need to just write like I am writing for this blog…like I used to write when I thought no one was reading, hah.

That is why I turned back to my blog, home sweet home. I was literally staring at a blank word document page for twenty minutes trying to get my fingers typing and nothing was happening. I mean nothing. Every time I tried to start something off, my mind would wander to the fact that my legs are aching with pain because of my workout last night or how I could really use a strong cup of coffee. Those thoughts led to my plans for the night and what I should wear, which then led to how much I really wanted to buy these flats at Banana Republic. This is not good. The cycle would just continue leading nowhere. I definitely needed to just write on, well, whatever. That is what I am doing now. And I needed some support from other people who know what I am talking about. That is when I stumbled upon this quote that describes exactly how I feel in this moment:

“Writing is easy: all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.” –Gene Fowler (journalist; take those communication courses at Huntington and you will know all about this guy, too)

So, sometimes it is true, that the words don’t come as easily as you would like them too. But, through this process I think I am learning a lot. A whole new adventure which I am sure will lead to some pretty awesome things. Stay tuned!

(The above photo was found here.)